Top Chef
Week 5
This was the fifth week of Top Chef Season 5, New York. 12 chefs remain after Alex was sent home last week for the Creme Brule that wasn't. Tonight's guest judge: there isn't one! (more on this momentarily)
Quickfire Challenge
To start the show the contestants have to do a "Quickfire Challenge" which is generally a skills test. Today's was a tasting challenge - the contestants drew knives to pair up and then had to compete to identify ingredients, "Name-That-Tune" style, in various sauces. They do it tournament style - one against one until the final three (Hosea, Stefan and Carla) remain.
Hosea won immunity for this week when Stefan incorrectly guessed there was tomato paste in Mexican Mole sauce.
Elimination Challenge
For the Elimination Challenge the contestants had to cater a bridal shower that Padma was throwing...for fellow judge Gail Simmons. I think it's safe to guess that more than a few male fans of the show were disappointed to learn that the bright and curvy Gail is now officially off the market (not like we had a shot, fellas) but Padma pulled out the stops and hosted a lovely dinner for Gail and 40 or so of her friends (all female).
The chefs drew knives to divide into four bridal-themed teams of 3:
Old (Hosea, Stefan and Jeff)
They opted to take the "Old" theme and make dishes based on heirloom tomatoes. Stefan's ego was on full display as he tried to take charge, the editors made sure we saw him repeatedly belittling Jeff's sorbet. A sure sign the sorbet was going to be a hit.
New (Carla, Eugene and Daniel)
Frankly if I were these three I wouldn't be buying anything with a long shelf life in New York - like milk. I'm increasingly skeptical that any of them will be around long enough to finish watching an omelette. They went with a bizarre "fusion" plate of "surf and turf" sushi (Eugene's default setting) with barbeque sauce.
"Barbeque Sauce?!?" -Tom Colicchio
Yeah, this has trainwreck written all over it. Carla seems to know it, but it's hard to know from her expression if she's shocked or just speaking. More on that in a bit. Just when you think this dish can't get worse Eugene comes out with the idea to "deconstruct" the sushi and let the diners make it themselves. Stefan sees this one coming and for once he's right.
Borrowed (Ariane, Jamie and Radhika)
Jamie takes the lead early, after a lot of sound bites of her talking about how much she wants to get a win (a good sign she won't win this week), and curiously insists that they "borrow" from Radhika's culture and make an Indian dish. Radhika, not surprisingly, seems taken aback and not really all that keen on it but she goes along. Good call as it turns out.
Blue (Fabio, Leah, Melissa)
Team Blue has a tough task - there really isn't any blue food. So they make the reasonable choice to go with an "ocean" theme and make Chilean Sea Bass.
So it Goes...
The guests arrive and sit at a ridiculously long table. Padma is stunning (as always) in a purple dress. Gail opts for her usual colorful and flattering theme. It's mentioned, briefly, that many of the guests are Gail's colleagues at Food & Wine Magazine and that the guest judge tonight is her boss...Food & Wine Editor-in-Chief Dana Corwin. No pressure chefs.
In the kitchen team Old goes first and their dishes are well received.
Team New is in chaos - the rice turned out badly and Eugene decided to try and "save" it by adding stuff to it. Not sure why he's thinking he can sneak bad rice past a table full of ladies from Food & Wine Magazine (not to mention Tom Colicchio who is standing 15 feet away tasting everybody's dishes). He'll pay for that at Judges table; count on it. Daniel, who seems to make bad decisions professionally (see: his beard), has added mushrooms to Carla's salad...without telling her. Eugene's "DIY Sushi" might have worked better if he bothered to tell the diners what they were supposed to do with it. Even Padma at one point held up the nori and shrugged.
Team Borrowed is sweating it because Ariane's lamb is still extremely rare when their expected time to plate arrives. As any Top Chef fan knows undercooking your protein is a fast sled ride to packing your knives so they wisely decide to give it two more minutes. That decision pays off big, as you'll see, and their Indian-inspired dishes get very good reviews from the diners.
Finally Team Blue steps in with their Chilean Sea Bass. Despite Fabio's calculated charm which left some of the ladies undoubtedly wanting to fan themselves, the dish is met with tepid responses. "This seems like old person food." one guest comments. Luckily Team New's disaster on a plate should shield Team Blue from any real consequences.
Judge's Table
First teams Borrowed and Old are called in. To their delight it's announced that they were the favorite teams. Jeff's sorbet was a hit, much to Stefan's disbelief and Jamie mutters under her breath that she "wants this win." Moments later Ariane is announced as the winner. Jamie barely conceals her frustration.
Next teams New and Blue are called to the table. Team Blue was mostly criticized for their dishes being bland and uninteresting; I half-suspect they were invited to the table to help carry the bodies out after Tom and the other judges finished smiting team Team New.
Good sign that your dishes failed? Tom says "I'd like to send all three of you home." Carla gets off the easiest, mostly being criticized for standing by and not intervening when Eugene and Daniel led them onto the train to Cruddytown. Her salad is weakly held up as the modest bright spot in the dish. Tom asks the team members if they thought the dish was good. Carla and Eugene had the sense to see that the Judges hated it and admitted that it failed. Daniel, inexplicably, said he was "unbelievably happy" with it. Unbelievable. Yes.
At the end it was probably a toss-up between Eugene and Daniel to go home. But Eugene has shown a bit more talent and had the good sense to dive out of the way when the Tom Train came barreling down on them at Judge's Table. Daniel stood there and took it in the chest looking rather like a oddly groomed deer in headlights - it was probably his bizarre assessment of their dish as good that tipped the ticket home in his direction.
Daniel got to pack his knives and go.
Observations and Random Stuff
- Why is it that Carla always looks surprised? She seems like a nice lady and she's probably a good chef. Not sure how far she'll go in the competition, but there's just something about her eyes or her glasses that make her constantly look alarmed.
- Finally a little cold water splashed on the Hosea/Leah thing. I was wondering where they were going with that - for the first few weeks they showed the two of them cuddling and flirting. This week Hosea reveals in his one-shot that he and Leah are just friends because she has a boyfriend and he has a girlfriend. Yeah, I suspect we may not have heard the end of this story.
- At the same time things are heating up, well on one side anyhow, between Stefan and Jamie. Stefan is giving her gifts and openly admitting he finds her sexy. Jamie would probably find him sexy too...if he were a chick.
"What part of 'Lesbian' don't you understand?" -Jamie-
- In his closing one-shot Daniel made a football analogy that, as best I can figure, was intended to claim the judges were wrong. He said something about football refs making bad calls. Keep in mind I was a member of the American Football Coaches Association for about a decade and even I wasn't I followed where he was going with that. Daniel, a suggestion? Next time somebody with Tom Colicchio or Dana Corwin's creds tell you your food was disappointing...punt. Nobody has a play for 4th and 30.
- Nice moment - when team Borrowed is scrambling to get their lamb cooked and dishes made all the other cheftestants step up and help them plate it. Very nice gesture and teamwork.
- Stefan is clearly wearing on the other chefs. A lot of soundbites and one-shots this week talking about how many of the other chefs don't want to work with him and how big his ego is. All he needs is some foam and he could be Marcel. Luckily if they try to shave his head it's too late.
- Melissa spends much of the episode wearing her bright green hat turned at a curious angle. Bad fashion decision. The color doesn't work and wearing her hat like a 12-year-old skater kid is not a good way to get respect in the kitchen. Luckily this is Top Chef and not America's Next Top Model.
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